This evening I sit on our farm’s podium stand which spans over the fence and allows me to step up and over the fence without catching on the barbwire. I sit down. It is immediately calming. I take a deep sigh of contentment.
The heat of the day has cooled, twilight has begun, melding the reds, oranges, and blues into indigo quickly from the clouds covering the west sky from storms ensuing in Western Kansas. Tranquility takes the place of blustering of the wind to a breeze to ruffle the hair, causing the prairie grass and windmill weeds to dance as I gaze over the pasture with our cattle grazing in the distance.
Fall breathes in the air. It is in the heaviness of the pregnant momma cows soon to birth their babies. Some for the first time and others, seasoned veterans, browsing for a last bite of grass before sleep. A two-month-old calf makes a breakneck run with the coolness of the evening. The ripening fullness of the apples, pears, and the wooden props to hold the various arrays of flavor awaiting picking to be turned into jams, jellies, and lovely spiced apple pie filling. Other non-edibles put out their “fruit” or seeds, the feathery foxtails, windmill grass, sticktight weeds which speckle the dogs’ fur as they rest on top of the hay bales watching and guarding the cattle in the field.
My mind is still running even though my body is relaxing. An adult child moving to Hawaii, another far away in North Carolina. Too far from me, because I still see them as my sweet babies. Two in college in a close town, but not close enough to the farm. A baby shower cake for next week, 8 bushels of apples to prepare this weekend, instrument music night for the school, a husband feeling ill, a children’ book dream, PRN (as needed) nursing night shifts when not working the orchestra. All the things that can roll through your mind trying to shut out the calmness from the field. I have to shut the mind down to enjoy the moment or it will distract me.
It is isolated out here away from my friends and family. Too far for most people to come out and see me and I can’t just pick up and pop in within few minutes and run over to see them. No barn parties, no bonfires, no hayrack rides with people coming out to enjoy life here as we do. Nine years has still produced an isolationism especially with all the children gone from the home. So I take solace in the cattle, in the sweetness of the farm cats curling around my lap, wanting to be pet and coddled, and the company of the girls. I am blessed, though I feel lonely tonight or at least seemingly alone in my perspective. I know the Lord is sitting here beside me, using nature to comfort and remind me of His creation. It does give me peace knowing this.
Today is the last day before this blog is to expire and there is much of a struggle too. As much as I want to continue, I have been negligent to keep it up. Life gets so busy I can’t sit down and take the time to think. To bake and take pictures, post recipes that I would to, and share the farm life with you. I don’t know what the blog will be or where it will be or if it is to be no more. I guess we will see tomorrow. But for right now, I share my photos of the beauty I have here. I am still amazed that my phone camera does such a very good job of taking photos. But you can’t improve on God’s handiwork, can you?